infernal*paradox

2010-12-27T22:40:00.003+08:00

271210*three years and counting

dear favourite boy of mine, thank you for the laughter, company and friendship you've given me over the past 3 years. let's continue working hard to become better people and grow old together. :)

2010-11-27T23:53:00.003+08:00

27112010*2 years and 11 months

part of me still can't believe we've been together for nearly 3 years. anyway, just in case we forget/are tired out from screaming kids and bosses - let's do things that will keep the spirit of adventure alive!

i'm blessed to have you in my life.

2010-07-31T01:18:00.002+08:00

its now the end of 3 weeks*

and i'm glad to say that i'm still alive. :)

its surprisingly easy to get used to. and i'm thankful i've got great support from the people around.

the 3 weeks has come with its lessons to learn though.

cool stuff.

its good to stretch once in a while.

2010-06-19T13:04:00.002+08:00

190610*be not afraid

i've always been a little uncomfortable telling others about how god is the source of strength, a safe harbour for all. probably cos i dont wanna seem too weak/needy. and also cos when you're in your comfort zone, there is less/little to worry for i'm more or less confident that i can make it happen.

there's gonna be some changes to my work come mid july. almost akin to changing a job. :) its fun, exciting yet scary. i'm a creature of habit and over the past few days, my thoughts have been on what will happen there. as always, my fear is of people relations there rather than the work.

but it's a good thing. there are bound to be many more such occurences (esp if i wanna get where i would like to go) and this is good practise.

and my fear is comforted in many surprising ways. god is merciful.

2010-06-08T22:08:00.002+08:00

*vietnamese rolls

had time to go dinnering with the parents today (of course the ulterior motive is to go tangs and have a look-see at the shoes) and we ate dinner at the orange lantern viet restaurant.

it was quite endearing to see the parents introducing me to the food esp when i've been to vietnam 3 times.

sidenote 1: i'm proud to be my dad's girl.
sidenote 2: its impt to avoid possibly compromising situations.

2010-05-23T19:30:00.003+08:00

*the day my heart broke thrice

*walks to the lift lobby with a box of home-made cookies in one hand and sees the 2 little girls from the 5th floor waiting for the lift. instinctively stood further away as said little girls are a little too curious for comfort sometimes*

*older girl sees my cookies and walks towards me, still staring at my cookies*

younger girl (brightly): auntie! which floor do you stay on?
me: *sighs* 7th floor
younger girl: auntie! *mumbles mumbles*
me: huh?
younger girl: *mumbles mumbles*
me: hmm?
older girl: she said: auntie! are you 33 years old?
me: -_____- *no answer*

*lift door opens*

younger girl: auntie! you stay on the 7th floor ah?
me: uh.
younger girl: auntie! do you have children?
me: *torn between laughing and crying* no.
older girl: then who are the cookies for??

sighs. and so i tell the boy that i'll have to start wearing mini skirts/shorts and more revealing tops on weekends now.

and he tells me: "careful, don't catch a cold ah."

:D

2010-05-15T23:44:00.002+08:00

*i think i'm in love

frockaholics.com

2010-05-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

*a cleaner look from here-on - i think i look younger with no eyeliner on

*everyone sounds smarter in retrospective - i wonder what quotes in news articles are for

*high heels cause my legs to ache

*how come i get hooked on to taiwanese dramas so easily

*why am i setting my alarm at 6am if i pull myself out of bed at 7am

*i've pretty much decided on what i should do for the competition - i shall never trust in voluntary entries again

*do i look like a service centre agent to you

2010-04-01T23:40:00.004+08:00

010410*i'm sure there'll be retribution one day

i'm feeling a little wronged and a little guilty at the same time. but the truth is that i just dont have enough energy after work and church to smile and reassure the mum when she starts telling me about credit card bills, how come there are late charges, what are we going to do about it, are you not going to do it now?

is it that unfilial to ask for you to give me a quick summary on the issue, put the credit card bills at the side and wait for me to gather enough energy (via watching tv, going online... doing isolatory stuff) to do the household chores? i know you're worried and you are more worried than i think necessary because you don't understand these financial stuff and you can't converse well in english and all this is foreign to you.

BUT it is honestly the best thing to do since i..
1. dont have that great a temperament,
2. am likely to ignore you or bark that i don't know and i don't want to think about it now,
3. will do it later at my own time

and so i tell her.

and she thanks me like a stranger and i leave the room feeling the way i do now.

so yeah, back to the title. this is going to bite me in the ass one day.

2010-03-28T17:08:00.002+08:00

280310*i'm-sorry-but-i-didnt-see-you

not so much that i've my nose up in the air but sometimes its just easier not to have to make awkward conversation with people that you dont know very well.

more so if i'm not entirely sure if the person actually remembers me. :)

side note: am on a keep-expenses-within-budget mode for the past month and i'm glad to say ITS WORKING!!! hahaha. no longer spending without knowing how much i spent.

the boy gets stressed that he can't bring me to expensive places to eat anymore though. :D

2010-03-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

070310*

and its possible that an afternoon spent doing income tax filing can be fun. :D

2010-03-06T22:43:00.002+08:00

060310*butter scallops, how to form cleavage and double fold pillows

its lovely when conversation just keeps flowing and you find all still on the same wavelength even after such a long time. :) we had such a hard time remembering when was our last outing. at last count, about 0.75 year to 2 years ago. :D

here's to the only girl clique (for some of us) and many more 23 years old to come. :)

2010-02-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

i feel a little like this.

2010-01-24T21:51:00.002+08:00

the start of everyday*

i get a little scared when i see the sky darken on a sunday evening. as the sun sets, my mind starts running through all the things i've promised myself on friday that i would do during the weekend and usually, they are all left undone or partially done. and i start getting a little panic attack thinking about how i'm going to settle them on monday or over the course of the week.

half a year into working, there have been less of these panic attacks. because for one, i've stopped bringing work home. for two, i've also realised, after so many mondays, that i'll find a way to handle the work left from friday. so.. its ok.

on the way home in the car after sending weij home, i looked out in between the seats where my parents are sitting and the sky was dark with just a little streak of blue.

the start of a new day.

2010-01-18T22:26:00.001+08:00

the sales have not been good for my wallet*

but still. happy to bag gorgeous deals at mango and promod!

2010-01-02T09:22:00.003+08:00

i cannot keep my eyes dry at weddings*

so all friends who are getting married soon (hourng for e.g.), put me at a corner so i could discreetly sob without anyone noticing.

but yeah. everytime i see the parents walking the bride down the aisle and placing her hand on that of the groom, the tears start coming out. sighs.

attended an awfully heartwarming wedding last night that makes me wonder who would be there for mine. esp being introverted me who don't put extra effort into maintaining friendships, i honestly wonder. heh.

badminton at 10am.

2009-12-05T23:25:00.002+08:00

*buying a new phone is almost like starting a new relationship

i've got so used to the way bala converses in the past 2 years that its become pretty much intuitive. with the jet, i literally have to look at the phone when i'm typing out my msgs.

brought the jet home yesterday after the pretty good reviews and the lack of good looking sony ericsson competitors and today was the first date. the jet looks good and typing touchscreen is fun but i'm not sure. i think i'm more comfortable with my bala. my bala churns out good pictures even without iso800.

but still the jet connects to wlan in an idiot-proof manner and i'm kinda happy with that. never managed to figure out the IE settings in bala.

nowww. to find a name for my look-cool new partner.

2009-12-02T21:53:00.002+08:00

021209*something tells me that i have become very attached

:) weij is away in cambodia on a business trip and i find myself spending evenings with the parents or walking through toa payoh alone and eating dinner in dingy dark foodcourts under the interchange.

its a little funny that i didnt find anyone to hang out with. but on hindsight, its not very surprising either. i'm not a social person by nature. :) i enjoy the time to talk to the parents and to do the stuff i wanted to do.

but still, roaming shopping centres alone and occasionally feeling alone, the amt of time i usually spend with weij really hits home.

and its kinda cool that despite that.. it still never seems enough.

:)

2009-11-14T00:19:00.002+08:00

131109*i would like to confess

i've been lusting after bags online.

:) heh. just realised the beauty of kate spade bags after dee showed me her full leather blue kate spade bag.

so, prowling the kate spade website does have its benefits! i just bought a bennington lori at USD 139 at their online sample sale!!! haha. and its all thanks to my cousin minghui who lives in NY. Ah, she was really lovely. helping me to buy and bring back. and thanks to aunt christine for volunteering to go see if one of the dept stores is selling it for cheaper. :)

much love i dont deserve. but my mum does. :) the other bag is for her. hee.

i dont think i'll ever be as great people as my parents are.

2009-11-09T22:14:00.002+08:00

091109*its oddly liberating to walk around toa payoh in fbt shorts on a monday night. :)

almost as though i'm a student again.

hehs.

work is picking up pace which is fun but vaguely messy as well. running around like a chicken with too many heads. FUN!

:D

i miss the hecticness of huangcheng & organizing events. hee.

2009-11-04T00:08:00.002+08:00

031109*its been a pretty long while

and its only when you meet with old friends that you realise how each of us have grown in a short 4 months. and that you're thankful that your paths crossed, even if each of our paths are intended for different directions.

thanks for the little bit of me that you contributed to. :)

2009-10-03T10:49:00.003+08:00

031009*

weij once said that my blog reads like a stream of consciousness. i guess the stream is getting a little blocked with so many distributaries running into it at the same time.

work is a little draining, not particularly exciting but it brings a sense of order. as though your life is normal because of work. which is ok. and that's the trouble, its ok. its not fantabulous, it doesnt make me especially happy to start a new day.

so what do i need to put a smile on my face when i wake up in the morning, for that spring in my feet as i walk pass centerpoint into the hotel?

i think of ntu and i remember that feeling of home. of feeling very comfortable in the freezing gray hallways.

and i remember the funny lunches i had with my 2 cups of tea at northern trust. how we met each other every morning at the mrt and walked over to onegeorgestreet.

now. to find that spark again.

2009-09-06T08:47:00.000+08:00

060909*besides the fact that blogger isnt working that well

there's a little preference for solitude during my free time. i think i appreciate the quietness of the home when no one is around. perhaps thats why i love thunderstorms. the world seems to go into a standstill when the rain pelts down and lightning flashes across the sky.

of course the brother always manages to break whatever quietness there is in my home. there he is now sitting on the sofa listening to some rapper stuff that is not particularly nice but always very loud.

but i guess thats how life balances out. you get a quiet one and you get another that's noisy and speaks to you as though you're 2km away when you are just next to him.

on a sidenote! i found gorgeous nectarines at ntuc! 4.90 for 6 or 7 of them. (so aunty i know)

as for work. thanks for helping me realise how much i've lost my focus in the midst of rotating around the hotel. :)

i miss the people i can have quiet breakfasts/lunches/dinners with.

for now, i think the joyous spirit in me is a little over-taxed at work. hence all you get is the auntish quiet soul.

2009-08-10T11:30:00.000+08:00

100809*

who is immune to the aftereffects of death, or near-death of someone they love.

choice quotes from stuff read yesterday at borders book fair. :)

"grad school is the snooze button on the clock radio of life"

"if they make you dig a trench, dig the most gorgeous trench anyone's ever dug."

"the attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. they don't remember what you try to teach them.

they remember what you are."

2009-07-31T00:29:00.007+08:00

300709*things that make me happy

this is a super belated post but blogger wasnt working well before this so i could only do this now. :)

1. learning to make pancakes!

took the recipe from karencheng.com.au (thanks yash for the intro) and made lovely pancakes! smooth, easy to make, yummy. what else can be better? :) and one more thing i can cook!

2. having dinner with weij

a few reasons why i like having dinner with him. one, he always have the discount credit card (which is why we had our birthday dinner at chatterbox). two, he finds great food. three, he's great fun to talk to. work is giving us very much less time to talk though.

3. the india people.

marvelous fun. spent an evening drinking and just talking, laughing, and eating. its great to have met you guys in ntu. :)

4. dear duckie

who came with mr duckie to give me a little cake! (why chatterbox i still have no idea). *hugs*

2009-07-12T20:53:00.003+08:00

120709*and i was right.

i miss school days.

or maybe i miss the certainty of school life.

perhaps the uncertainty will cease once i stabilize.

i can see myself there. and i've certainly met more than my share of nice pple.

but there's no denying that i miss the lunches with pple, sitting in fal doing whatever not and meeting friends.

...

its obvious what i'm missing isnt it?

2009-06-25T11:07:00.002+08:00

250609*its amazing how you never notice things around you

and so that's how i found that i missed out on a pretty good kopitiam just opposite my block!

was on the way to get breakfast at the market opposite with the brother today when he remembered that one of his friends told him that the kopitiam near to yellow pages had good yong tau foo. (i bet he remembered cos he didnt want to walk to the market (must walk so far! so far!)

the yong tau foo was pretty ok (they make the yong tau foo by themselves) and apparently the duck rice is good (i'll try next time) but i found a little stall next to the drinks stall that sells pancakes, sausage & mash and rojak! weird combi i know but the pancakes are really pretty good.

ordered a blueberry yogurt and blueberries pancake and it came with 2 smooth pancakes with yogurt, big real blueberries and cream on a pretty white plate! nice stuff! it was about 3.50 but then its really cute! hahaha. much better than mcds.

got to talk to the boss and he says that he's been there for 3 months but moving at the end of the month cos rental is going up. darn! why didnt i find it earlier?? will def be going back before start of work! lets see if i can bring the parents there for yong tau foo. : D

happy! and i'm motivated to learn to make pancakes!

2009-06-23T18:01:00.008+08:00

230609*i'm generally not a big fan of islands

but the gili islands in lombok are rather pretty. esp when i'm back home away from the hot sun (which i was desperately trying to stay away from. you should have seen the amt of sunblock i slapped on myself).

though it is said that lombok is the shy and less-touristy sister of bali, its rather populated with angmohs already. but i always find that that has its benefits as well (parle-vous ang-lay?).

the gili islands consist of 3 islands off the west coast of lombok, about an hour's boat ride from sengigi beach. gili air, meno and trawangan.

the boat guy and his son. the son was quite cute but had a penchant for trapping fish in small water cups. i had to refrain myself from calling out that there's fish. they kept catching the fish and keeping them in small containers.

the only form of transport in the gili islands! horse carts (look behind weijie in the photo). you can find them on lombok as well. the horses are not very well-cared for though.

we took it later on a trip around meno.

the guys. :)

and we found gorgeous rock pools while on our ride! rock reefs or something like that. very cool.

the boat guy's son peering at the fish in the pail.

clear waters and almost all-dead corals below (according to degen who was the only one who went snorkelling)

2009-06-23T17:33:00.003+08:00

230609*so much for working in a hotel soon

i'm still dropping food whereever i eat (ask the rojak gang) and taking very unglam photos (go-see duckie's blog) hahah.

went back to hwa chong this morning with duckie. but none of the teachers were around. (apparently mrs tam was in a208 having class but then she didnt reply the msg till we were at dhoby ghaut ald). darn.

but still had a good time reminising abt where all the classes were. long chem classes at the newer aircon rooms, econs class at the hot classrooms opposite the labs. still remember meishi's nutella in physics lab, sitting outside the lab waiting for mr loi in the morning, kj and jiacheng in front of me and (is it mel?), ct classes in the aircon rooms near the lockers.

and then we went to eat chicken rice! :) duckie liked the rice a lot. hee.

took 174 with her down to smu, i was planning to walk over to nlb but got a msg from yash abt lunch so i dropped off at dhoby ghaut and took the train down to raffles place. had lunch at banquet and then took the train to bugis. :) nlb is probably one of my favourite places in singapore. large open spaces, tons of books (comics), air con, greenery. would be a nice place to work i think.

i hope i'll be happy in my new job.

2009-06-22T13:43:00.010+08:00

220609*jealous of yash's pics. so gorgeous!

so i decided to post some of my own. : D

light shining from the ceiling opening onto the walls of the pantheon, rome. :)

frog graffitti

view from mountain on the fringe of france and switzerland.

eiffel!

the lourve

art students at the versailles

sunset at lombok, indonesia

girl walking on the dark sand of sengigi beach, lombok indonesia

virgin trains advert

2009-06-15T11:56:00.003+08:00

150609*this is the start of something new.

:) weij went to work today! first day at work. whoosh. i'm waiting for mine.

somehow.. it seems like a big step towards a different life, a different schedule.

with addition to finding a new church in singapore and all. just came back from camp with the singapore church. finally understood what it felt like to be new in a church. hehs. its a bit disorientating and quite scary.

but still. met good pple there. and i guess its a different experience. i think i'll be better at welcoming someone new after this.

and its a prelude to working as well. :) gonna be someone very new! hee.

camp was good. the imitation of life was a good experience to come back with. amidst paying income taxes and stuff, you really realise how hectic life can be.

i'm not very sure how i'm going to do this, lord. but i trust that you'll teach me. every step of the way.

2009-06-09T15:48:00.002+08:00

090609*reporting from the very empty fal

came back to do dental at first then i figured that might as well wait another month. :) we dropped by jurong safra for lunch at jack's place and then walked around a little. saw mel! and andrew. hahaha. its great to see friends suddenly. wished we had more time to talk though.

took 179 to student services centre to grab the pa certs. i got letter of commendation! hahah. not bad leh. :) then we saw huishan from bnf (hanwei's friend). couldnt recognize her cos i always saw her in shorts and tees. she's working for moe currently. bit of a shock but its cool that she found something she likes.

walked down to fal. very empty now. well. i guess we move on to a new phase of life.

i just wish that you dont have to lose so much everytime you move on (namely meals with friends, seeing friends in the fal, coming up with questions during presentations, answering questions during presentations, slippers and shorts).

having a hard time writing the little passage for nbs's 2010 booklet. dont know what to say. i love nbs but mostly due to the people i met here. pple who challenged and inspired, who were great fun and had wonderful ideas. i think its the culture which gave me the space to move forward and try new things. the can-do and why-not spirit thats common among us which brought me to do comps, organize stuff with rms, stay till late in school to finish up reports (cos enough is never enough), try for interviews with huge coys, do fyp with tafep (cos i know i can trust john and yash); which then led to other stuff, like telling the accreditation guy how "on" the tutor was (man, how could i have used such a student term) and do open houses and stuff.

it was a good three years.

2009-06-01T16:45:00.001+08:00

010609*curing pre-job jitters.

2009-05-30T23:06:00.004+08:00

300509*i know i've been missing for a while.

but well was recovering from jet lag and despite making sure that wifi is available in the hostels that we stay in, i still couldnt find time to blog. many other things to do and check. :) i love that june 1st is on a monday. it just seems so right. :)

had a lovely pedicure last night. my toes are now in 3 tones of silvery purple. :) and i think i can do it as well! i shld have the needed nail polish. :)

grad trip was great fun. but it feels very comfy to get back home and have my mum and dad around. so much that the chilling air of europe seem so far away. been trying to post up the photos on facebook but it takes so much work! :( not that into doing quotes for everything but then they dont make sense unless you do. hehs. ah well. i'll take a long time then.

will be leaving for lombok next friday. going with weij and degen. jas is supposed to come along as well but she still hasnt secured leave from her internship boss. so.. we'll see how that goes. :) hopefully she'll be able to come. hur hur hur.

i think going overseas on trips as the grad trip trains a lot of getting out of your comfort zone. we didnt know much french and ordering food was a huge fun challenge. haha. thankfully the cafe owners were all great fun and extremely patient so we still managed to order great gorgeous food. ooh. show you picture!

most of our meals in paris featured a steak or another. weij wants to die early i think. got to get his doctor friends to convince him that so much red meat isnt good for him. :(

ngiah ngiah ngiah

2009-05-19T17:29:00.002+08:00

180509*4.06 pm on a train from Manchester down to London.

Yash and jaron shld be at the airport now. I think I like travelling on trains. The view is great, you get to eat stuff bought elsewhere and you don’t get affected by air pressure in the ears.
The countryside (which we are passing by now) looks awfully like some of the enid blyton illustrations that I read when I was little. Little ducks floating on ponds, lambs skipping around on the fields. :) I think I’ll let my children read enid blyton too. It inculcates a certain level of imagination and fairytaleism.

Went to old Trafford this morning and had a tour of the man u stadium. Awfully gorgeous along with beautiful weather. Now I kinda regret not being able to go inside on the match day. we bought tickets from pple selling outside (secretly) on the match day but the tickets turned out to be stolen ones. :( but well. A lesson learnt.

Anyway, weij blew quite some money at the megastore at old Trafford while me… I still haven’t done any shopping. :( though I admit, there is a certain reluctance to spend much. I guess nothing has really struck my fancy as yet.

I kinda miss the aunties on the tour. Haha. They were just buying and buying like mad!! Every stop is a shopping stop!

Food in Manchester was great though. We stopped by a lot of pubs and got roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for 5 pounds, apple pie with icecream for 3 pounds (and I haven’t drank a drop of beer since I left the tour!) hahaha. Growing tired of sandwiches and bread though. And the English seem to like to eat fried stuff soooo much! I’m craving for fried beehoon and egg (mouth waters).

I’m looking forward to staying in London. For one, I am promised 2 days of shopping (out of our 5 days in London) (I had only 10 mins of shopping in Manchester.. 10 MINS!!!) and I think I shld be able to get pretty good Chinese food there. I don’t care abt the price!!! I need my noodles and rice!!! (that rhymes! So there duckie! Haha)

The English newspapers are weird. Page 3 on The Sun features a naked lady contesting for the best breasts with a bunch of other women on some other page. Comments on the initiative to outlaw page 3:

“The Sun and Page 3, more than any other institutions or initiatives, freed feminine beauty from the prisons of art galleries and sleaze. It is a weapon against anti-feminist and anti-western values. It is obvious that anti-liberal forces are at work trying to ban page 3. Beauty should not be wrapped in a brown paper bag or smothered in red tape”.

Laughs.

I wonder sometimes abt the amt of effort old couples must have put in to make it work through so many years.

2009-05-10T05:22:00.003+08:00

090509*the day of little mercies

the boy amazes me.

a little purple rubber band.

and a view of france and geneva.

2009-05-06T06:12:00.002+08:00

060509*travelling through 3 time zones make me very giddy.

am now in paris! :) got here abt 2 pm in the afternoon, upon which we are whizzed to the little village of noyon, where john calvin (or jean calvin) was born. the aunties on the tour were very enthu abt taking photos, even though its bitterly cold with the wind. i was still getting a little worried that i'll get sick but the body adjusted after a nice hot chinese dinner. :) the bus went around the major sites, champ elysees, eiffel tower (there was a little sense of wow when we saw it on the bus.. its as though i'm really in paris!), the fountain where anne hathaway threw her blackberry into in devil wears prada etc. :) guide is pretty good. i really wonder where they got him from. on another note, looking at the sites were pretty exciting cos we'll still have 4 days to explore when we get back from london.

the hotel room for tonight and tmr is a dear. i get a bed by myself (which is wonderful for reasons which i'll tell you when i get back) and there's free wifi!!!

lets see if i can call home tmr night. its now 12.19am! i'm going to sleep, morning call at 630am tmr!

jiayou yash!

2009-05-01T00:04:00.002+08:00

010509*white rabbit white rabbit white rabbit!

its a superstition that if you say white rabbit three times on the first day of the month, you'll be lucky for that month.

which does not make sense.

but if it makes you feel happier abt the upcoming month, then why not i say. :)

...

i wish sometimes that i have a better relationship with my grandma and some of the cousins. i wish we could have been friends first before we became relatives. that wld make it so much easier.

2009-04-29T09:33:00.002+08:00

290409*at rehearsal last night

auntie from the choir: you lugi (lose out) ah?

me: huh?

auntie: lugi?

me: huh?

*auntie points at my hand*

2009-04-24T22:45:00.004+08:00

240409*the dont-want-to-talk-to-anyone mood is gone! ...or maybe not.

ah well. went to the dentist today and blew 70 bucks. teeth are decaying and i'll need to go back for a scan next wed. :( and my back tooth feels distinctly more sensitive after he was done cleaning and polishing today. bah.

anyway, little things that i really wanted to post for a long time. :) finally got bala to upload this photos onto lucy. got picasa 3 as well which churned out these cool collages.

cake decorating at jurong point!

if you pass by jurong point (which pretty much means you are in ntu), there's this icing room place where they allow you to decorate your own cakes! :) they give you the icing and stuff and you just draw! got this cake for weij's dad (which was actually more of an excuse for me to play with this) and i drew a blue mercedes model e200! if you look at the pic at the bottom right corner you'll see that i even wrote in the model! (and the logo. haha) the cake was pretty good too. apricot and fruits inside with very light sponge and gorgeous apricot smelling cream. :)

another thing! our favourite eating place on sunday after church. victor's kitchen at sunshine plaza. pretty good dimsum! i love their shrimp dumplings, and weij likes their salted egg custard bun (on the right). you'll realise there's no photo of the shrimp dumplings. well. they kinda get gobbled up pretty quickly. (and the photo didnt turn out that nice)

getting hungry. go down for a try when you are around there! :) but no going when i go. or else i'll have no seat. :(

2009-04-24T12:24:00.001+08:00

240409*i feel so tired.

antisocial mode on for all that are family.

same mode for the rest.

2009-04-20T08:06:00.003+08:00

200409*the hope for some thunderstorms

the weather is oppressively hot. which is why i'll holed myself up in smu yesterday. will be going again today. once clothes are washed. :)

the last exam in two days.

and its as irritating as the other ones.

psych is at its best when you dont have to memorize it.

2009-04-16T15:24:00.002+08:00

16409*the wisdom tooth

extraction on 24th april 09. will let you know how it turns out. : )

i'm so tired after the meeting this morning. zapped.

2009-04-14T21:17:00.002+08:00

140409*t3

just went to send dad, mum, auntie ling and jason off to australia today. :) i think they are going to have a very fun trip.

sending pple off at t3 is less sad than sending them off at t2 or t1. i guess all the lush greenery gives you such a sense of life that it overwhelms the sadness of departures.

and i'm sleepy at 9.19pm in the evening. i think i'll retire early.

such a grandma.

duckie, your pressie hasnt arrived yet!

2009-04-09T23:22:00.001+08:00

090409* dont my pet look like she just came from gossip girl? (note blair-band)

2009-04-09T23:01:00.002+08:00

090409*first of three things

told dad this morn abt this credit card thing where if you apply for the card and spend 100 bucks, you'll get a 20 bucks ntuc voucher. tried to get him to sign the application form. and he was super adamant abt not signing it. he says he has enough credit cards, and he just managed to arrange it such that each of us spend on a credit card and 20 bucks is too little for him to want to sign the card! before you get any ideas, we are not rich. i guess, to him, its not that 20 bucks is too little in value but these things (credit card promotions etc) are just not very impt. and i'm a bit amused and a bit proud of him at the same time. :)

my parents are just pretty unconcerned with gathering wealth. they are from the generation where you earn your livelihood with your sweat and tears and spend within your means. they ponder occasionally abt the investing your money and the growing money with money thing but they are generally too unconcerned that investing is probably a bad idea for them.

and i'm pretty uninterested in financial planning. though its def a good skill to learn.

i guess i just feel that there are a lot more impt stuff in life. we have enough to get by anyway. and if we dont, then we just spend less.

2009-04-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

070409*its funny how inspiration strikes only 15 mins before submission timing.

so i sent it in 5 mins late and 100 words over the limit. ah well. i tried. this was actually something that i feel really strongly about.

just wondering a little about ending school. after i hand in my psych assignment on thurs, school will be officially over. exam on the 22nd and then yeah, i'm done.

i can still remember the first day in nbs. thinking jb is kinda chauvinistic (and then realising in marketing that he is quite a gentleman), intimidated by gina (as i am by most gorgeous people), shocked at shulian leaving the orientation group halfway at nie (haha), making my first friend (evelyn) and the weird game where someone said choir was a module and i was thinking, wow, thats easy. funny how i never went for that module.

doreamon ob group. darn fun with hotpots in john's room, typing the report while surrounded by research papers, getting entertained by gx and wanling. hallqueen87@hotmail.com; something something boy @hotmail.com etc etc. staying up till 6 am at jas's room with pillows, magic tables and green tea.

marketing's ding dong! logo and name all from me! hahaha. making the video at liyana's house. making jb walk up to the door a few times cos i couldnt stop laughing at jb delivering food. so like! hahaha. and then our entire class bringing gifts for tricia ang. wilson lah, spoil market with wine glasses. crazy!

these were really the two classes that stood out. stats was really just banking on mrs tam's notes. though i kinda liked the linear regression thing though. makes so much sense and there are diagrams! i realise i can understand things real well with pictures.

year 1 sem 2 i was in totally different classes with the old class. adored biz law which i later blanked out for in the exam, hated olaf and his IT classes. but hey, i got to meet rachel there, and went on europe trip with her, toddler and weij. and well, thats how it began. :)

shall reminisce on year 2 and 3 when i'm more awake. :)

nights!

2009-04-06T08:18:00.002+08:00

060409*prep for the grad trip

all flights and hostels are booked for the grad trip! : ) will be gone from 3rd may to 27th may. the iternary goes like this:

3rd may to 16th may: tour together with the presbyterian church in singapore. journey on the life of john calvin, a french theologian who was huge in the protestant revolution. hehs. you can obviously tell that i dont know much abt him. wiki. :) visiting paris, geneva, milan and rome.

16th may evening: fly over from rome to manchester. (weij wants to watch man u match which we hopefully can get tickets to) staying at hilton chambers manchester.

18th noon: take a train from manchester down to london. staying at astor hyde park.

23rd evening: fly over to paris in the evening. staying in Boisseire, this gorgeous place thats a little bit out of the city but has nice cafes and markets around (according to reviews anyway)

25th: french open match!

27th: fly back to singapore! :)

you'll realize everything else is not confirmed. which is kinda the way we travel. :)

------------------------

its funny how school gets a bit irritating when you start bothering about the grades.

i think i may end up with a second uppers at 4.49 or something. hahhaha.

2009-04-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

020409*

to remind myself to think through what i say. throwing in a word that sounds associated but absolutely does not come with the same meaning is a no-go. especially if the word that came out turned out to be pretty bad.

thanks for understanding.

2009-04-01T07:42:00.003+08:00

010409*the end of hr metrics.

hr metrics was a bit of a disappointment. i think for things like this, it begs a question of whether you should do a bit or nothing at all.

i guess you do a bit with the hope that it is correct in the larger scheme of things.

2009-03-28T11:41:00.000+08:00

280309*a pondering thought.

2009-03-23T13:37:00.007+08:00

230309*what a lovely hot day

in a bid to avoid doing 326, i uploaded avg 8.5, firefox, photos from bala and then figured that hey! lets do an brief photo slideshow of what i've been doing. heh heh.

from the most recent:

Naturally 7 concert 22nd March 09: darn good music.

20th March 09: FYP celebratory dinner at sofra! food was pretty good. waiter was pushy. haha. "what is good for dessert?" "1 - 6" "all?!"

feb - march: scene of cbd taken from the singapore flyer.

14th feb 09: dinner at esplanade gluttons' bay.

7th feb 09: SAFARI ZOO RUN (walk. :) )

january 09: bobbi brown makeover.

dec 08: children selling wares while standing in the drain. bali trip

2009-03-19T11:25:00.002+08:00

190309*

there's something about a rainy morning that calms me. it clears the mind and makes you able to settle down and do stuff. (i think i shld move overseas to somewhere rainy and windy - work efficiency will increase by a lot)

sitting in lee wee nam library doing transcript editing for bh326 and wondering about life in 2 months. work starting, no more school. no more shouting in the fal, taking lazy mornings looking through email and blogs, having lunch with friends, switching off when i want to, walking out of class to look at trees and wonder about why you are wasting time in the class. no more printing notes, learning about psychie stuff, wearing slippers and shorts, reading newspapers while having breakfast.

now i see why they say you gotta have to love your job.

:) i'm not so sure about certain things but i think answers will come when the time arrives.

looking forward to the trip to europe and london. ahhh. the air of europe again. dry cold air smelling of sunlight, hotdogs, kebabs.

markets are a definite must-go. i adore going to local markets - turkish delights, beans, appetizers, raspberries, blueberries. and very funny memories. :) shaved ham, fresh pumpkin seed bread and yogurt. yummy breakfasts in the park with pidgeons. (i still applaud the decision to get up early and get breakfast from billa on the last morning in vienna haus eramus) gorgeous gelato, summer sales, h&m. hee. :)

and its great that i'm going with my best friend. :)

2009-03-16T17:39:00.003+08:00

160309*

thriftiness is a curse sometimes.

went to vivo (cos mum said that tangs was having sales) with the vision of coming back home with good deals but the sale was off. hmm. and hence walked around aimlessly because the brain is unable to focus on the clothes once there is no sale sign available.

took the bus back from vivo. lovely rainy day on the bus with a good book (bought from pageone sale). got a bit giddy after that. hehs.

2009-03-14T07:44:00.001+08:00

140309*the fyp monster has been killed!

parents. the older you get, the less time they have for you.

2009-03-11T21:12:00.001+08:00

110309*this will (hopefully) be the last sleepless night for fyp

i'm in sr 13, holding my pee and waiting for john to come so that i can leave the seminar room. brought hot water in a flask and 2 ceramic cups to make coffee. hahaha. obviously you'll realise that my mum prepared them. leaving her at home alone tonight. : ) john just brought in a huge polo lauren bag, so kua zhang. hmm. i'll go pee.

i think i'll miss school.

2009-03-09T10:50:00.002+08:00

i'm bored*090308

100 Truths! Copy and paste, then put in your own answers.

1. last beverage→ water
2. last phone call→ weij
3. last text message→ weij
4. last song you listened to→ stoppin' the love - kt tunstall
5. last time you cried→ in church yesterday

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice → man. how many times have it been? : )
7. been cheated on → nah. no right?? haha.
8. kissed someone & regretted it→ not really.
9. lost someone special? → yeah.
10. been depressed? → occasionally
11. been drunk and threw up? → haha. NEVER!
12. LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: white, green, orangey yellow

THIS YEAR(2009) HAVE YOU:
13. Made new friends → yes. twf mates are pretty amazing pple
14. Fallen out of love → nah
15. Laughed until you cried → can't remember. probably.
16. Met someone who changed you → so many around me who inspire in different ways
17. Found out who your true friends were → always been there. but you lose some on the way.
18. Found out someone was talking about you → hehs. dont know. very low profile.
19. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ is weij, my parents, my soft toys on any of your lists? hahaha.
20. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life?→ all. dont add weird pple.
21. How many kids do you want to have→ 2 or 3 (at least one boy. i dont think i can stand having all daughters. i dont get along very well with girls)
22. Do you have any pets → want to.
23. Do you want to change your name→ hmm. not really lah. though i still think serene is pretty common.
24. What did you do for your last birthday? → cycling, sushi tei, church.
25. what time did you wake up today → 7.45 am
26. What were you doing at midnight last night → trying to stay awake talking to weij
27. Name something you CANNOT wait for → the end of fyp
28. Last time you saw your father→ 1h and 30 mins ago
29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? → find time and more patience to do more for others
30. What are you listening to right now → grasscutters downstairs
31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → probably
32. What's getting on your nerves right now? → my hair
33. Most visited webpage → my gmail
34. Whats your real name → Tang Chia Yee
35. Nicknames→ zee, ah ai, jia
36. Relationship Status → old couple
37. Zodiac sign → Cancer
38. Male or female or transgender? → female
39. Elementary School? → Ping Yi Primary
40. Middle School → SCGS (till now some still do not believe)
41. High school → Hwa Chong
42. Hair color → brown
43. Long or short → irritatingly long
44. Height → 163 and shrinking
45. Do you have a crush on someone? → nope.
46. What do you like about yourself? → laughter like thunder
47. Piercings → 2 (looking for more)
48. Tattoos → none
49. Righty or lefty → righty

FIRSTS :
50. First surgery → none. unless you count sewing up the gash on my head after falling down at the void deck running around in wooden clogs
51. First piercing → p3
52. First best friends → qian/xinyi
53. First sport you joined → hhahahahaha. NONE!
54. First pet→ fighting fish that was killed by this older kid who came to my house and insisted on the fish having a war
55. First vacation→ Penang
56. First concert→ wow. thats difficult. some church choir thing in msia i guess. first pop concert - jay chou
57. First crush→ the boy in the block next to mine
58. Eating → saliva
59. Drinking→ saliva
60. Listening to → fan
61. Waiting for → weij's dad's car

100YOUR FUTURE :
62. Want kids → yes
63. Want to get married → hehs. yups. : )
64. Careers in mind → Hotelier, HR consultant for VWOs, Mother
65. Lips or eyes → eyes
66. Hugs or kisses → hugs
67. Shorter or taller → taller
68. Older or Younger → older
69. Romantic or spontaneous → fun!
70. Nice stomach or nice arms → soft and round tummy
71. Sensitive or loud → sensitive i guess (i'm loud enough)
72. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
73. Trouble maker or hesitant → dont really like hesitant guys. but it depends on the kind of trouble.

HAVE YOU EVER :
74. Kissed a stranger → yeah. in vienna. some guy selling concert tickets.
75. Drank hard liquor → i dont think so.
76. Lost glasses/contacts → no. mainly cos i cant see without them
77. Broken someone's heart → my dad's i guess when i was p4. i mended it afterwards.
78. Had your own heart broken → not really.
79. Been arrested → by my sec 1 teacher
80. Turned someone down → ran the other way to avoid it.
81. Cried when someone died → yes. case in point, departures.
82. Liked a friend that is a guy→ yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
83. Yourself → most of the time
84. Miracles → yes
85. Love at first sight → not really
86. Heaven → yes
87. Santa Claus → never really. my dad blew the cover thing when i was 5.
88. Kiss on the first date? → nah.
89. Angels → yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
90. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes
91. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → hahaha. nah.
92. Posting this as 100 Truths? → yes (though if you count out the numbering issues and the one question i refuse to answer, its 92 truths)

2009-03-05T23:31:00.002+08:00

050309*

hello! : ) not that i was missing but was holed away doing the first draft of fyp the last 2 weeks. so since q is meeting us to discuss the report tmr, i thought i wld blog before immersing myself in fyp again. hehs. see duckie, still say i slack.

psycho class today (together with the psycho midterm quiz that i remembered at 10.30am) and as expected, there was a little conversation on the recent student stabbed ntu prof incident. so many speculations. but if there's anything i learnt from psych.. its that there's never one singular reason.

i think psych resonates with me cos there are so many case studies just walking around you. you get reminded of people when you learn a new concept. like simon with learned industriousness - capacity to overcome fatigue and persist on course of action. hehs.

i like rainy days. when its cold and windy. its almost like another country altogether.

speaking of which, we have no partners to go for grad trip with. : ( london is the current aim. and with the pound dropping, its probably the best time to go. come!

this is so darn random. the mind wants to take a rest before the plunge again. : )

2009-02-21T11:01:00.002+08:00

210209*when the passion fades

there come times in relationships when things calm down into a steady flame. you start to wonder what happened and then you realise that though fireworks light up the entire sky, a burning light keeps you on your path through the strongest wind.

2009-02-08T22:40:00.003+08:00

080209*

6 days to valentines. the day we celebrate for fun and without much expectations. haha.

i would love to be mushy and all for once. you know, like matching outfits, heart shaped bentos, (ok. i ran out of ideas). but i dont think i can stomach it. : )

its a funny day to think about though.

and once again, the grey walls of ntu will be adorned in pinks and reds.

2009-02-07T22:34:00.002+08:00

070209*

i'm starting to think that marrying the dream guy/girl is not a good idea.

it makes it difficult for you to stand up for yourself when you have to.

2009-02-02T21:32:00.000+08:00

score one for fyp*

2009-01-28T11:16:00.003+08:00

280109* one year, one month and one day

there are people that make you realise that no matter how smart you may be, how good looking you are, how lovable you may seem to be, it doesnt necessarily make you a great person.

willingly making beds, finding pillows, blankets, 2 pin plugs, medicine bottles for people staying at your home without a word of complain, on the other hand, does.

2009-01-15T13:50:00.002+08:00

150109*another kind of group

was searching for a nice (meaning quiet and empty) room to do stuff in before human motivation lecture. saw that the previous 326 class is moving out of their seminar room and promptly went to get the bag and moved over. there is still a group in there. so i am just sitting there, sending out emails and listening to the spanish song (thanks yash, i'm addicted) and observe them doing the in-class exercise that i just did 2 days ago.

the group seems to have a lot of fun doing what they do. a large group but nevertheless they seem very happy together. and the girl leading does a great job. def can see her in a hr position next time.

i wonder if the groups i'm in are like this. my groups seem to have a 'steelier' edge to them. haha.

2009-01-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

140109*the school i came from

in addition to being the school where students still use their mouth to suck acids/alkalis into the pipette (at least when i graduated, sputters), sc shld probably be given the most contented school award as well. was just comparing the school song to rgs's and ri's with weij. hahaha. very different schools indeed. the boy is surprised by the sense of contentedness emitted from sc's school song.

this is our school song:

Glad that I live am I,
That the sky is blue;
Glad for the country lanes
And the fall of dew,
After the sun the rain,
After the rain the sun
This is the way of life
Till the work be done.
All that we need to do,
Be we low or high is to
see that we grow nearer the sky.

well educated wives and mothers dont need to have lofty aspirations of common good and great knowledge i guess.

2009-01-09T23:43:00.002+08:00

090109*

fyp is daunting. and rather a load on my mind given the commitment to the ext agency. but before the fear rises again, i remind myself. one day you'll look back at this and think: alright, that was a pretty small thing compared to xxx i'm facing now. and i think i'll become better from this.

and i remind myself of the genes i carry. dad with the lawsuit thing that his run-away boss threw onto him when he was 20+, mum and her trial with cancer. surely thats bigger than an fyp. and they got through it. so can i.

and of course jesus who faced trials throughout his short 30+ years on earth. taunted in the desert by the devil, facing disapproval from the local authorities, and carrying the knowledge that he has to die on the cross and lose god's presence when he took over all our sins.

i can do this. we can do this.

2009-01-02T15:00:00.004+08:00

020109*the first post of 2009

helloooo! welcome to 2009. haha. the year of ending school, starting work (hopefully learning something from the pastry chef), and re-evaluation.

just signed the contract with ihg into their i-grad program. 18 months of training to prepare me to enter their management team. i pray for the best but the signs are good. i think there will be a lot of support from higher management to ensure i am learning stuff and i get 30 pcs of drycleaning laundry as part of benefits! haha. i think they'll be expecting much from us. : )

and the first thing bought this year! good solid flats for travelling and usual days. (the stripes for mine are dark colored) and gosh. they are super comfy.

so, with good shoes, i'll go places this year! : )

2008-12-29T14:52:00.002+08:00

291208* found this on weij's friend's blog. you'll realise that i'm not concentrating.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- jiayi/jia
- jie jie (by the parents, leftover from educating the younger brother)
- zee

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
- infernalparadox
- jia*
- tang0107

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- doll like fingers
- smile
- feet and toenails (increasingly ruined by wearing heels)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- breadth
- inability to wear skinny jeans
- hair that cant grow long

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- flat nose (from dad)
- cleanliness streak (from mum)
- loud voice (from penang)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- shadows appearing behind in the mirror
- disappointing others
- losing mum, dad and chuan

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
- specs (i cannot see without)
- washed hair
- time alone

THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- yellow muffin shirt
- pink shorts (which my primary school friend laughed at me for wearing to school underneath the pinafore)
- specs

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
- corrine may
- mayday
- kt tunstall

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
- suddenly i see - kt tunstall (the roommate in vienna played this every morning)
- i dont have favourite songs... : (

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- mutual respect
- faith
- spontaneity

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- i'm an introvert
- i'm happy to be a housewife
- i can cook

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
- smile
- puppy dog eyes
- the earnest and sincere look.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
- singing
- reading books i want to read
- travelling to non-touristy areas

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- lie down on a patch of grass
- get a genie to finish up fyp for me
- facial mask

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
- hotel manager (its funny how life brings you in a circle)
- physiotherapist
- pastor

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- france
- rome
- new zealand

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:
- ariel!
- zachary
- joel

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- go to jerusalem
- find out what i'm meant to do
- make a change in someone's life

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
- sitting with no regard to manners or proper-ness
- tendency to get hungry
- burping

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
- hem and haw
- sensitivity to others
- the long eyelashes. what do you mean you cant see them?

THREE MALE CELEB CRUSHES:
- hugh jackman
- patrick dempsey
- heh. no idea

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
- duckie
- yash
- eunice

2008-12-29T11:41:00.003+08:00

291208*

i'm making a gorgeous sandwich for lunch today! : D ham, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, eggs, newly baked bread, honey lemon drink. hee.

sometimes i wonder how many people are nice to me cos of my parents. : ) but i guess this is a kind of gift from them. pass it on. (coincides with evolutionary psychology but we shall not touch on that aspect)

am hungry. i think i may devour the sandwich now.

a funny book title i found in the library a few months ago. : )

2008-12-27T07:43:00.004+08:00

271208*

this issue seems to be one of constant contend. the idea is not really to live a fairy tale story but just to inject whimsical notes into the relationship once in a while. i'm not the kind to survive on sugar and everything nice. but i guess this being the first, i wanted to experience a bit of it. : ) and it just happens that i'm with you. and to think of it. you have done some pretty sweet things, but knowing you, romance was probably not on your mind when you decided to do them. and this makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

so yeah, i accept it. though i may go crazy at times.

thank you. for the honesty. the ability to talk it through without it escalating into a quarrel.

happy 1 year. : )

2008-12-18T15:09:00.003+08:00

its days like this which i think to myself how lovely it is to stay in sgp. (at other times i curse and swear at the terrible hot weather) today is sunny and breezy. love it. great for hanging clothes out to dry (and no, hanging clothes is not one of my hobbies) and for lazing at home. cooked dinner last night (for myself, did not endanger others in the process) and hey, it tasted great. red and yellow peppers, fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, pasta brought to boil in salted water and prego pasta sauce! haha. how wrong can you get man. : D the brother ate when he arrived home late from driving and he did not faint on the floor (as he did with my last culinary attempt).

cooked the leftover pasta this afternoon with tom yam concentrate and veggies, mushrooms, peppers and tomatoes from yesterday. 10 bucks for 2 good meals. i think i might be able to survive overseas.

other stuff i can cook. (meaning cook and is edible)
- maggie noodles
-various other maggie noodles variations (dry maggi noodles etc)
- omelette
- boiled eggs
- carrot and potato soup (this i can do very well. haha.)
- white rice
- fried veggies

ok. no meat but thats alright. ham/roasted chicken etc is sold everywhere.

maybe i shld try to cook tomato sauce chicken/pork. the ones sold outside are always hiding fat underneath the yummy coating. blah.

2008-12-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

141208*

a skype phone for me to call home.

its the little things you do.

thank you. : )

2008-12-12T09:35:00.003+08:00

121208* the day we go to bali.

went for the impresario audition yesterday. haha. totally clammed up. forgot the lyrics, coughed, went off pitch, ya da ya da. haha. anything that can be done badly was done badly. : D man. new found respect for the brother and pple who go for singing auditions.

and mum just told me this morning that she went for an audition when she was young too.. she went off beat or something. haha. mum apparently sent her photo in and got asked to go to the station for an audition.

now i know where the brother gets all the star dreams from. : D

bought threadless tees! haha. though not that many. since work (hopefully) will begin in 1/2 a year. and a new watch.. that costs.. a lot. hehs.

2008-12-09T08:55:00.002+08:00

091208* the pillow.

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side by side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them. - Rainer Maria Rilke

Respect.. is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique. - Annie Gottlier

2008-12-03T08:29:00.002+08:00

031208*

from duckie's blog, for duckie:

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
yups! : )

02) What was your dream growing up?
that i wont grow pimples in the future. and that i can be a hotel manager/pharmacist/physiotherapist.

03) What talent do you wish you had?
sing opera!

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
lemon 'giang' (lime, soda, crushed ice, sugar) from vietnam
warm choc with marshmallows

05) Favorite vegetable?
broccoli.

06) What was the last book you read?
re-read: harry potter & the deathly hallows, memoirs of a geisha, the child called 'it'.

07) What zodiac sign are you?
bunny!

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
ears. one on each side. was planning 2 more on each side. but seems unlikely now. : p

09) Worst Habit?
laughing and cheering when i'm not supposed to.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
if you dare to take my car

11) What is your favorite sport?
cycling!

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
negative. glass half empty kinda person.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
haha. depends. chat or fart. : D

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
if my family pass away suddenly.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
i am not very sociable.

16) Do you have any pets?
a hamster previously. have been trying to convince the mum a dog wld be great since i was 8.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
come on in!

18) What was your first impression of me?
quiet. (duckie)

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
depends on the lighting.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
longer eyelashes. : D my mascara always look like its not on.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
depends. what do you have in mind?! : D

22) What color eyes do you have?
dark brown.

23) Ever been arrested?
by the class teacher for passing notes to jieying.

24) Bottle or can soda?
bottle.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
by a loewe bag and pass the rest to charity! (how much will be left after the loewe bag?! haha.)

26) What's your favorite place to hang at?
home. botanic gardens.

27) Do you believe in ghosts?
spirits. yes.

28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
talk to friends (when i'm feeling sociable)
reading a book (when i'm not)

29) Do you swear a lot?
depends on what you label as swearing.

30) Biggest pet peeve?
open toed formal shoes

31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
laughs.

32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
yeah! haha. in appropriate doses.

33) Do you believe in God?
yes.

34) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
tadah!

2008-12-03T08:20:00.002+08:00

i think it takes letting go of the bit of fear that you'll be left on the shelf with no job that allows you to be able to talk 'normally' with prospective bosses for job interviews.

ultimately, its really about seeing if there is a fit between what i want and what they can offer me.

and people met these few days and stuff read shows that there are always going to be failures and disappointments. but the failures and disappointments may change in the future.

the brick walls are there to stop the people who dont want it badly enough. - randy pausch

2008-11-21T10:09:00.001+08:00

211108*

this is the new look of my gmail account! : D

2008-11-20T15:55:00.003+08:00

for lack of a better thing to write. (i am getting a bit lazy with blogging cos its tough to put down into words what you feel at times. and a recap of the exams is the last thing that i want to do now.) the part on career gives some food for thought. (may be thats why i've been doodling on the idea of applying for a job.) though the test is pretty odd. (hey! it rhymes. haha.)

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx (from duckie. the girl who named my firstborn "clover". i think i might take that name up if my girl happens to be born in and schooled in england or europe next time. too pretty for a little girl in singapore. haha. a girl born in singapore should be called a more down-to-earth name. like janice or something. though i dont like the name janice.)

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on educationYou may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i like the name ariel. but my mum went like "eh-ria" (wire antenna) and weij thought it as "arial".

-_-

2008-11-13T10:43:00.002+08:00

13th Nove 2008

(i think nov looks nice as nove)

there is something about love that tempers you. you get a sense of groundedness knowing that you have someone, someplace to return to. where you dont have to prove yourself.

but then. there are so many definitions for love.

love. nove. above. cove. dove. jove.

-ove looks nice generally. (didnt like move cos of the pronounciation)

2008-11-05T09:31:00.003+08:00

You? evil? Ha. Nobody's perfect, but you're one of the least evil people who've ever taken this quiz. If you're feeling guilty about something, it's probably only because you momentarily stopped petting a kitten to answer those questions. You would never be intentionally cruel to an animal, a friend, or even a stranger. Reading this quiz is probably the closest you've come to having an evil thought. We don't want you focused on evilness any longer than necessary, so please go back to what you do best -- spreading joy and sunshine throughout the land.

ha. see, duckie. i'm barely evil. barely.

i dare you to take it and post it on your blog. http://www.the-n.com/quizzes/quiz_main.php?id=3290

hugs,
the fair maiden

2008-11-03T21:17:00.001+08:00

i really dont know. i guess some dont make as clear or smooth a transition into uni.

2008-10-31T21:14:00.000+08:00

a lazy breezy sunny day.

indulgence for a day.

back to work now.

2008-10-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

211008*

when does a kid decide that his/her parent is no longer the hero he/she once thought they were? what shall the parent do then? what if what the parent does only drives the kid away even more?

perhaps its how hard you try.
perhaps its how you were obligated to think in another role besides that of a parent.
perhaps its that i've found what i found in you in another.
perhaps this is just how relationships go.

it isnt that i dont love you anymore.
i just dont know how to express it anymore.
and the knowledge that it wasnt like that before paralyzes me.

2008-10-21T10:05:00.001+08:00

211008*

here i am in seminar room 2. thinking of how to chase away a bunch of year 2s who invaded the seminar room. very noisy bunch of year 2 accountants.

they do not seem to want to go away. darn.

2008-10-15T09:09:00.003+08:00

151008

i may be over-reacting. and i probably am.

but it gets me to be showcased like a product.

and it doesnt help that i'm still not sure where i want to go. hr definitely. but where? ha.

being mediocre/average doesn't seem like an option for me in their eyes.

hi-pot. ha.

its just odd that people set certain expectations for you even when they dont know you.

and somewhere.. i know there's a little tinge of the "you shld do xxx, shld be yyy, should get zzz because this will raise the profile of the school, the course, the blah blah blah.

ha. i'll just go and have fun.

very happy being who i am even though it may not be the person you expect.

2008-10-05T22:06:00.002+08:00

051008*

you know how you always hear about the soul and the body being two different things and when you die, the body dies and then the ultimate question of where your soul goes.

was just thinking this morning about it and had the weirdest feeling of how who we are, what we do and where we are are so temporary. you know, almost like neo when he came out from the matrix. (ha. i watch science fic also leh)

you see ah. if you think about it, then who you are called, what you are studying, your aspirations, your family and all in your life that you see as important and what you identify yourself with.. what do they mean at the end? what does it feel like when you close your eyes for the last time?

its all together a bit disconcerting. kinda like a monopoly pawn suddenly brought outside of the board and realising that the "world" that he has taken to be the world is but a square piece of cardboard. a game.

i'm not afraid of death, i think. its just odd and kinda fun to take yourself for a walk outside of this world. and i find it kinda funny, when i start thinking this way, how we humans run after so many desires and wants in life. esp when you know that they are not going to matter at the end of the day.

and then i, as the pawn, return back to the world i know to be the world, and start running fast to pass 'go' before others do.

isnt it funny and sad how you cant let go, even though you know that it is but a piece of cardboard?

2008-09-29T12:36:00.003+08:00

290908*

point to oneself. smile more. even when you have other things on your mind.

2008-09-26T09:59:00.002+08:00

260908*

interview with dbs for 325 today! so cool. i've been wanting to meet janice for a very long time. such a nice lady. : D

and its raining today. i love the feel of cold breezes flowing through the house and being woken up by the pitter pattering of rain on the window sills. better yet, the rain doesnt show any sign of stopping! woohoo!

obviously i am in a very high mood today. i think rain makes the world look brighter.

talked to polly this morning (on msn) and it feels good to talk to her again. : ) people with a brighter outlook to life make me feel happier.

polly says i am a high flyer in denial. i tell her i'm a housewife wannabe in disguise.

haha.

2008-09-25T16:49:00.002+08:00

250908*

hate interviews for 2 things.

1. the amount of fussing and butterflies in the stomach before

2. the level of continuous re-thinking through things you said and realising how stupid you were

2008-09-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

the highlight of strategic management class today. 150908*

2008-09-06T23:17:00.006+08:00

060908*

photos that were lost in the files.

merdeka.

kid in the middle with mushroom hair and round specs. hehs.

pier where uncle's boat is.

mr. kaya toast. from breakfast at ya kun with duckie.

2008-09-04T17:35:00.003+08:00

040908*

i think i exceeded my quota of energy used for talking to strangers yesterday. ihg recruitment talk and hr alumni dinner. am pretty boh chup and silent today. need a bit of personal space after all that talking yesterday. so not cut out for networking.

a bit of an internal struggle these few days. i guess, with all the recruitment talks piling up, emails from school and stuff, it gets a bit fuzzy as to where i want to go for my career. the school provides quite a lot of opportunities. but i'm not sure those are what i want to do.

and been wondering what i can do with the rest of my school life. 8 months left. i want to do something for the community or for the school pple before i go off to work. i wonder if there is something that hr students can do for the community with what we learnt. andre (supervisor from NT) worked with teenagers in homes and teach them how to handle interviews and write resumes. let me see if i can do something like that for the kids in homes or the people in prison. while we were in vietnam, there was this cafe we went to on the last day in hcm where previous delinquent kids were trained in f&b and such.

one last thing on my mind. its a bit sad when you see your dad or mum trying to get their short tempered child to help with some stuff that they cant do. i'm not someone with the best of tempers and my parents know that. it so happens that my dad is the kind who suddenly remembers what he needs and usually the dateline for that is either immediate or not that far away. so, knowing that i'm short tempered, he tries to ask me to do stuff in this "can you help me do this, i need it but if you dont want to also can" tone. which i cannot stand. and the way i respond to that is terrible. which is altogether a bit sad. i'm willing to do stuff but i wish he would just tell me and ask me to do it without the "dont do also can" when it is obvious that he needs it. its as though he is giving me a choice when i know that it isnt a choice. i guess it is a way of protecting himself. perhaps i havent been giving him the assurance that i'm willing to do the stuff for him.

parents are odd and funny people. especially considering that one day we'll (hopefully) be in their position. its fun to observe what they do and how they handle the changes in their lives.

i need to be less short-tempered.

its funny how you usually treat the ones you love the worst.

2008-08-31T20:39:00.002+08:00

the last day of august*

feel a bit disorientated on sunday nights. like after a few days of self-indulgence, you go back and face the projects you left hanging on thursday night. hehs.

ah well. it has been a good rest. watched wall.e on friday afternoon after lunch at the cathay restaurant with weij and family. and then we went to esplanade theatre for turandot. : ) wall.e was SOOO adorable. totally recommended. : D turandot wasnt particularly spectacular. the stage layout was a bit blah and i think i expected more out of an opera. it was a bit disconcerting to hear characters sing in german/latin/whichever foreign language it was when the opera is set in ancient china. we met woon teng during the opera though. she was seated on the same row as us on circle 3 (yeah, the one right at the top). she started work as an IB and seemed pretty content. : )

songs for stephen tong's gospel rally just makes me break out in goosebumps everytime i hear them. i think the choir will be great on those nights. already we sang 'hallelujah' pretty well today. esp compared to the mess we made out of it the first time we tried a few months ago. hehs.

i love choral singing.

where has all the time gone to. its already the end of august.

2008-08-27T07:43:00.002+08:00

270808* the 8th month.

There are things we encounter everyday that tests our stand as Christians. and i am glad for them. for these are chances to show the world how glorious our God is. and though there are many times i fail these tests. i pray for strength everyday to pass more tests everyday.

我不知明日将如何，每时刻安然度过；
我不求明天的阳光，因明天或转阴暗；
我不为将来而忧虑，因我知主所应许；
今天我必与主同行，祂深知前途光景。

我不知明日将如何，或遭遇贫苦饥饿；
那看顾麻雀的恩主，必随我时刻看顾；
我前程虽经历水火，或快乐或有灾祸；
但我主引导我路途，祂宝血将我涂抹。

C: 许多事明天将临到，许多事难以明了；
但我知主掌管明天，祂必要领我向前。

I don't know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine, For it's skies may turn to gray.
don't worry o'er the future, For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him, For He knows what is ahead.

I don't know about tomorrow, It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow, Is the One Who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion, May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me, And I'm covered with His blood.

C: Many things about tomorrow, I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow, And I know Who holds my hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcCSbdaq6Eo&feature=related

2008-08-24T20:27:00.001+08:00

240808*

the 4th week of school shouldnt be so packed!!!

blah.

: ) happy birthday ducks.

2008-08-20T16:56:00.003+08:00

200808*

woohoo! i passed the p&g reasoning test! haha. : )

________________

i think psychology is a great complement to my business courses. business courses are.. well.. not that simple in terms of relations. psycho pple (and tutors) are generally nicer and less complicated.

yeah. i like my psycho modules.

and i get to research on either the austrian guy who locked his daughter in the basement, or britney spears or hitler for my case study on personality! woohoo!

: )

2008-08-16T11:06:00.002+08:00

160808*

stepped into can a yesterday at around 3. 30pm and saw a huge group of people with eyes trained on to the 4 tv screens in the canteen. : ) li jiawei was competing with China (or Korea) and the whole canteen was literally yes-ing and boo-ing with every win (or loss) li jiawei made. it was super fun to watch.

the foriegn students in the canteen were so like "what the hell is going on" when huge commotions occur every 3 minutes or so. haha.

exactly why i love ntu. : )

p&g finance challenge screening test was pretty cool. mathematical, story based and diagram logic questions. found it real fun. : ) we'll see how.

2008-08-14T08:10:00.002+08:00

14th Aug 2008

i'm experiencing overjustification effect myself. ha.

***

vietnam trip was really great. despite the initial apprehensions and jitters. : ) we went climbing waterfalls, ate good food at cheap prices, bought cute stuff (oh, remind me to tell you what jing jing's dress looks like), had fun pple in the trip. : ) sipei with her "food for a mile" and jiren's "you see ah, 6 x 1 = 0, so 6 x 6 = 30!"

photos are on facebook, can go see. : ) vietnam is rather safe, no worries abt pple snatching bags and stuff. and accomodation is cheap. food is good (oh the lemon soda and beef pho) and the people are generally friendly, despite the fact that you can't communicate with most of them. (we had the most difficult time asking our taxi driver how long more it is to the airport)

let me know if you are intending to go, and i'll pass you the hostels and places to go info! : )

***

i'll be going for a bunch of recruitment talks next week. the current mood is not very conducive towards them i think.

2008-07-28T07:21:00.002+08:00

is there anything wrong with the fact that i find this absolutely funny.

bizarro - sunday times 27th July 08

2008-07-12T23:55:00.002+08:00

the idea of starting fyp is rather daunting. but after a few hours of looking through stuff on SMEs, the research stuff are coming back again. haha.

21st was a quiet affair. which i liked very very much. thank you all for the birthday greetings. they lit up my day. : ) special thanks go out to john who set an alarm to get up and send me a birthday msg, duckie who called at 12 plus (sorry i was so incoherent. haha), weij for the birthday tart and parents who agreed to cycling at east coast. (dad always found it taxing to go to east coast on sunday nights)

btw. i'm going to vietnam from 3rd to 7th august. missing first week of school. : ) ha.